I signed up for Boot Camp at my gym two weeks ago. It’s been kind of nuts for the most part. I generally want to die for the hour we are working out, but I know it’ll end up being completely worth it. I like that the muscles in my legs feel tight versus just being just sore. I love when I raise my arms above my head it just hurts! It is fabulous.
Boot Camp means:
- Working out for an hour 4 days a week (at least)
- Tracking what I eat (I have to turn it in to my instructor)
- Having people to always workout with! I’ve already bonded with a lovely girl named Carla. I always give her faces when I want to crawl into a ball and die. So, basically every 5-10 minutes.
I’m looking very forward to the next 10 weeks!
Also, tomorrow is my birthday. I turn twenty-seven and that feels pretty crazy. I am going to eat at Common Roots Cafe with some girlfriends for brunch, which I am looking forward to. I really don’t have anything else planned except that I took tomorrow and Friday off from work! I want to do something incredibly relaxing, but have not figured out what that is yet. So if you have ideas, please feel free to tell me.
Finally. WALKING CLUB!
We will be meeting this SUNDAY at 6pm at Lake Como in St. Paul. The address is 1390 Lexington Pkwy N, St Paul, MN 55103. So, call a friend and come on out! It is a fabulous way to wrap up the weekend and we always have a great time! Don’t miss out!
I had a couple people ask recently why I haven’t been blogging. And here is the short answer:
I AM AN EMOTIONAL MESS.
When things ended with Adam right away, I did what most people do – I dove into the next thing. Spending time with friends (almost obsessively), going out for drinks, drinks and more drinks. And then I stopped. I let myself stop for just one moment and I crashed. The tears came, my heart pounded and anxiety wrapped around my insides. And once I started crying, I couldn’t stop. I’d cry on the way to work. I’d cry on the way home. I’d cry silently at my desk at work. Just tears running down my cheeks. I’d come home, lay in bed and sob and sob and sob uncontrollably. I only seemed to not cry when I was asleep. So I did everything I could to keep myself asleep. It kind of scares me to even say that. I was eating one meal a day – if that. This really meant my morning coffee and a bite or two of my lunch and nothing else. I was probably working off those calories at the gym at night.
I can’t explain what happened, nor can I begin to understand the why, but it did. I fell apart and let myself be a mess because I needed to be. Adam said during our break-up, “You are afraid to let people see you as less than perfect.” Guess what WORLD, (or, my readers, anyway) I am NOT perfect. I am so less than perfect it isn’t even funny. I underestimate myself and I am overweight. I don’t know what I am doing with my life and am unhappy with my current work affair (not a real affair, but you get my point.) There are so many things wrong with what I am doing with my life that if I let myself dwell, I’d probably want to curl up and sleep forever.
But that mess – the girl with the tears, the girl with a black heart – she’s trying to leave now.
This girl is all that is left in the other’s dust.
I could not be happier that it is Friday! Even if it was a short week, it’s seemed incredibly long. I have some fun things going on – reconnecting with old friends, hanging out with new ones – it will be fantastic. Earlier this week, I made the most fantastic buy in a long time. I was in Macy’s picking up a birthday present for my mom when something caught my eye:
Yup, GREEN NEON socks.
And yes, ORANGE NEON socks!
For whatever reason, the bright colored socks have made working out fun! And actually, the socks themselves are amazing. Microfiber and comfortable. There are more colors, but I won’t spill the beans all in one post. So be on the lookout.
After a small break due to schedules, I am excited to announce that Walking Club will be rocking and rolling again this Sunday! As I always say – this is a great way to get out and moving and to meet some fantastic people as well. I’m excited to say that we will be meeting at Lake Calhoun and will be walking around the lake, which is about 3.2 miles. Great way to end the week, if you ask me.
Location: Lake Calhoun – meet at the Tin Fish
Time: 6:00pm – we will be leaving at 6:10
Questions? Contact me or Alexa.
I’ve been a workout machine, lately. A well oiled, machine have you. I’ve been able to make it to the gym about four days a week recently. It really feels amazing to do 30 minutes of cardio (all I can do before I experience knee pain) then do 20 minutes of strength. I’m going to be able to kick some serious butt soon. So, be nice to me, readers. I bite.
Today, I went to Barrio Tequila in St. Paul with my buddy Josh for lunch. Oh man, it is delicious. We enjoyed some yummy guacamole. They have the BEST guacamole ever. EVER. That I’ve had, anyway.
And for my meal, I enjoyed two yummy Potato Sopes. They had goat cheese and all kinds of delicious lettuce and they were just so tasty. The waitress tried to tell me how small the portions are. Who needs big portions when you have GUACAMOLE?
Are you jealous yet?
I get pretty crazy about any type of hispanic cuisine. Especially Mexican food. I am like white on rice, seriously. I think this has to do with having lived in Mexico City for a while.
Keeping right on task. Tonight I enjoyed a delicious dessert, as did my mom (more on that later.) I bought Skinny Cow’s little individual ice creams. They are so GOOD. Each little cup is 150 calories full of ice cream goodness. I enjoyed Cookies n’ Cream tonight.
And since I love my mom so much, I would like to debut the miraculous cake our family shared last night in celebration of her entrance to this great, beautiful, green earth.
No, I didn’t have any cake last night (yes, I did and it was DAMN GOOD.)
What is your favorite ice cream treat? Since I love ice cream, we should discuss it on this here blog.
The constant in my life for the last two years is now gone. The person I could count on to tell me I was being ridiculous. The person who made my heart flutter with joy and the person who I thought would be a constant in my life until the day I died is now a person of my past. I have big crocodile years in my eyes as I write this because I never thought I would.
But there are some things in life that love cannot conquer. I’ve learned that love does not fix everything and sometimes our hearts have to break and we have to attempt to mend them. Honestly? He is going to make an amazing husband some day. He is going to be an event better father. He is going to love someone more than he loved me. Which I partly don’t even know if it is possible.
I lay up at night wondering if I made the right choice, if I was an idiot but letting this piece of my heart go. But there are things we didn’t see eye-to-eye on. A lot of them, probably. I am more democratic than I allowed myself to admit to him (but he secretly knows it, I’m sure), he never outwardly supported me in my journey to a healthier lifestyle, which links directly to the fact that he never read my blog. At least he never told me he did. Maybe he was secretly reading it, unbeknownst to me. And quite frankly, I have some issues to work through before I can be with anyone – and this is airing some serious dirty laundry, but: our biggest downfall was the fact that I have a hard time believing any guy would be attracted to me or want to love me. Yup – I’m THAT girl.
Maybe some day, life will bring us together again. Until then, goodbye to you, he-who-shall-remain-nameless.