Incredible Failure (aka: why I hate the scale)

I had an internal meltdown at the gym this morning. After doing cardio and some strength training, I made the mistake of getting on the scale. I say mistake because I know am gaining muscle mass, hence that number may not actually reflect what is actually happening to my brain. In fact, I know this is true because after doing some measurements, I have lost inches.

In any case, I am at the gym, trying not to cry as I step off the scale. And in a fit of panic, I jumped back on the treadmill and stared running and running and running. I didn’t know what I was truly going to accomplish by doing this. So I eventually stopped, but I kind of feel like I’ve hit the bottom. I need to regain control again.

But on top of this – I know this isn’t going to be the last breakdown I am going to have. There are going to be obstacles that I am going to have to overcome. I don’t know what they are yet, but they are there.

Yesterday at the blogger meet-up, we had to write down a fear about the journey. My fear is not having the support I need to stay on my journey. I sometimes think that the people I see most often don’t “get it” – they are either naturally skinny or have figured out what they are doing.

I hope that by blogging, I am able to find the support I need.

(also – my next post will feature my dog!)


6 thoughts on “Incredible Failure (aka: why I hate the scale)

  1. I found you!!! 🙂 It was SO NICE to meet you on Saturday, and I’ll send you and Jen an email about the HR Association this afternoon!!

    Also, RE: “the support”-thing, we can definitely be email buddies and talk about struggles back and forth. I am in the SAME BOAT you are, I totally understand about having temptation, making those daily choices about which foods to eat, and the overall difficulty. Lots of my family and friends don’t get “it” – they say, “Well, just don’t eat it, then!” but it’s not as simple!!! 🙂

    We’ll be in touch soon!!!

    • I am so glad that met! You are such a wonderful person, my dear. I look forward to getting to know you better. Seriously. Plus, you love HR so it is a super duper DOUBLE PLUS. Let’s get together soon over coffee. 🙂

    • I try to only get on the scale in the morning. I really don’t know WHAT I was thinking! Plus, I am sure the scale just lies now because I am burning lots of fat into muscle. The woes of attempting to get into shape.

  2. Hi Cindy! I don’t think I ‘officially’ met you on Saturday, but I recall your introduction! What a fun get-together it was, and great to meet so many like-minded people! I will stay tuned to your blog! My post today references defeat on the scale…along the lines of too much complacency. But I’m breaking out of that funk…we ARE doing this!

    Holly @ Making Over Me

    • Hi! We did NOT get to meet. What a shame. I’m glad you posted here, though! I haven’t had a chance to add everyone’s blog to my google reader, yet. BAD BAD BAD. I look forward to reading your journey. 🙂

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