Well, friends. Today is day one. I woke up at 6:30am (not on my own accord, mind you), and went to Weight Watchers and got weighed in. I will be honest that I didn’t pay THAT much attention during the meeting. I mean, I did, but I was just trying to soak it all in again. So, I’m looking forward to checking in every Saturday. But man, 6:30 sure felt early for a Saturday.
Afterward, I met my friend Kate at The Egg and I in St. Paul for breakfast. And holy cow, the food was absolutely delicious. I enjoyed some Cinnamon Apple tea and an egg white veggie omelet and some wheat toast with grape jam – hold the butter, please!
Tea should always be red. The color is so warm.
The omelet was amazing. Provolone cheese, tomatoes, broccoli, spinach and onion. I only ate one piece of toast and it was more than enough to fill me up.
Since I felt so inspired to cook after leaving my Weight Watchers meeting this morning, I cooked a delicious dinner tonight for my family. I made stuffed peppers. I used orange peppers because the green peppers at the Super Target were really sad looking.
In the midst of cooking potatoes, onions and beef with rice.
Prior to sticking the peppers in the oven to cook.
And the final product.
They actually turned out really well! I thought the whole dinner was delicious. I think I will definitely be making these again.
And what is waiting for me for the rest of the evening? Laundry – yeah my Saturday night is prettttty crazy.
I’m pretty sure at this point my mouth should be wired shut. You might be laughing. I am not. Tonight, I laid in bed with a box of cookies. A BOX OF COOKIES. What the #$^#& is wrong with me? I’m struggling a lot with my inability to say no. “Want some chocolate?” I used to be able to pass it up with ease. I remember I used to unwrap chocolate, stick it in my mouth and then quickly spit it back out. So I’ve hit what most people might refer to as rock-effing-bottom. I don’t really want to talk about how that happened. It just did. I find myself beating myself up but not making the necessary changes.
So, I am at square one. I am rejoining Weight Watchers and life will move on. I will track my food, I will weigh in once a week and I’ll lose weight. It happened to me before and it can happen again.
Life will be back to meal planning and saying no when people ask me to eat out and ditch my planned lunch. I have to do it, my friends. Not for other people, but myself. I spend far too many days having mental breakdowns because I hate the way I look in things.
So, this weekend will start a new life – a life where I start putting myself first.
This weekend, I dedicated my time to The Liz Logelin Foundation. The foundation was started by Matt Logelin after the passing of his wife, Liz. What the foundation is doing for so many people who are in the same situation as Matt was only a few years back is nothing short of amazing. As someone who cannot even fathom what it would feel like to lose your best friend, wife/husband, life partner, and lover all in one go, I’ve been incredibly touched. The second I laid eyes on Maddy, I wanted to cry and I instantly thought about my own mother. What would my life be like without my own mother?
My mom tells me when I look ridiculous in an outfit, sends me e-mails to tell me I’m beautiful and listens to my own stupidity from time to time. And growing up? Damn, I feel sorry for her. I was probably the worst child ever. I was such a little liar and gave my parents a run for their money, for sure. I would certainly not be the fantastic person I am today if it were not for her.
When I sat in the back of the room at Solera watching a short video before Matt spoke a few words, I had tears in my eyes. And then sweet little Maddy stole the show. She sat in the arms of a family member (I can only assume) and stole the microphone from daddy. “Daddy, where are you? Daddy? Daddy where are you?”
Everyone sitting laughed (and some probably cried.) I stood in the back, with my hands clasped under my chin with tears rolling down my cheeks. I often find myself fretting about things in life: why are men so stupid? why are people so mean to me sometimes? why can’t I be happier? And then there are moments like these. Standing in the back of a room while a man and his daughter stand in front of me having lost what can only be described to me as what would have been the glue. My mom has told me in the past that her mother (whom I never met) was the glue in her family. And I had this moment and I shook my head free of all the crap going through my head and I tilted my head back and I laughed and found myself in love with this little girl, little Maddy.
They always say that out of every horrible situation in life something good happens. While the death of Liz Logelin is horrifying and saddening and and probably maddening some days – out of her death came the birth of The Liz Logelin Foundation which provides support to those who are in similar situations as Matt.
Since I was inspired by this weekend, my posts this weekend will be dedicated to the foundation’s events.
Photo credit: Darcie Gust
When the world says, “Give up,”
Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”
Last week was…last week. It is gone and today is a new day. Except for all those chocolates I ate from my boss’s candy dish. I think that was the worst thing about my promotion. I’m in her office all the time! I’m lucky to work very closely with my boss but grrr, the chocolate.
On Sunday, I went to the mall to return some pieces from my birthday and lucky me, Jen was also headed that way, too! (Thanks for letting my steal your picture, Jen.)
It is clearly, no shower Sunday for me in this photo. I just thought I was running a quick errand! 🙂
We had some delicious lunch at Bubba Gumps at the Mall of America. I usually tend to avoid that place, but I’m so glad I didn’t on Sunday! It’s not everyday a man in a shrimp suit tries to maw your face off. Yeah, it was a tad creepy.
Not creepy, though?
My pear and berry salad with raspberry vinaigrette.
I totally wanted to ask for another TO GO it was so good. I don’t think I even talked very much. I was just happy as a clam gnawing away on my salad. I may try to make this salad myself. I just love love love fruit on salad. I love fruit, so I guess this isn’t a big surprise.
On Working Out:
Last week was a little a major fail in regard to working out. I was incredibly tired the whole week and all I wanted to do after work was go home and sleep or just sit. I made it back to the gym today with a smile. I squatted, jump roped, ran, lifted, pulled, pushed and it felt really good. I like doing my class. My instructor is a hoot and we have a good time. I think I am officially the girl who dances while she works out. And I’m okay with it. I try not to take myself TOO seriously because there are some things I literally cannot do because of my injury (it just hurts a lot) and some things I don’t like to do. My wonderful instructor said she doesn’t care as long as I am moving for the full hour – which I am! It just means sometimes I am shakin’ my hips instead of doing jumping jacks.
How do you get through workout slumps? Do you just make yourself go or do you take a break?
I spent the entire weekend feeling fat.
When I came home on Friday night from a little get together with other local bloggers there were clothes in every direction. On my floor. On my bed. In my closet. Why you ask?
I felt fat. And it continued into the whole entire weekend.
I cried on the way to the blogger event wanting to turn around the entire time because I just felt fat, gross and ugly. But, there were many wonderful ladies I wanted to see, support and connect with so I carried on. The entire night I felt uncomfortable, not confident and many times I wanted to keep running out the door and to my car and home to bed.
I never know how to handle these moments. Do I let myself cry? Do I tell myself to get over it and move on? It doesn’t help that all my friends are incredibly gorgeous fit and wonderful.
I don’t even want to post this now because it seems so stupid to be upset over something like this, but it is real. And beyond it being real, it happens to women all the time. So here you have it.
My entire weekend could be summarized into to one word:
There will always be reasons in life to not do certain things. Whether it is admitting to yourself it is time for the lifestyle change, taking a big leap and doing something you’ve always wanted to do or finally taking a moment for yourself to do what you want to do. In theory, that sentence could lead into something awesome, but I’m not quite ready to share yet. But when I do – it is going to blow your brains. I promise.
At the beginning of October, I am going to be volunteering with the Twin Cities Habitat for Humanity Carter Project. I am incredibly jazzed. For someone who works 40+ hours a week and has nothing but joy and passion around volunteering, I’m glad I was able to find a way to help out during off-work hours. It’s going to be fantastic. If you are looking for a way to volunteer, be sure to check out the organization. It’s well worth the time. I’ve worked on houses in the past through work and I truly believe that what they do matters.
Now, onto the POPCHIPS GIVEAWAY WINNER!
And the winner is…..
Love ya, Cindy!
But, actually, Brian wrote a really awesome blog about organic eating and how popchips will help him since they are a natural food! So, Brian, be sure to e-mail me your address and popchips will send you some delicious goodies!
Sometimes being human is painful when it comes to trying to eat the right way. In one weekend I have consumed:
- Greasy artichoke dip
- Cotton Candy Ice Cream
- shots shots shots (hey, I said I was human, right?)
- French fries
- Chicken fingers
I know that it was just one weekend. And you know what? It was totally worth it. I got to go up north to help a super awesome pal celebrate her birthday.
Getting ready to TEAR IT UP in Baxter, MN. Which really translates to go to Applebee’s then back to the hotel to hang out with a pretty sweet waitress, Marisa and the hotel bartender, Brandon.
Then, on day two of the celebration, what better way to celebrate than with…
We drank wine, ate nachos, ice cream, popcorn while watching Chopped on the FoodNetwork. It really doesn’t get better, does it?
It was incredibly relaxing to be up north and away from everything. We did a little hot tubbing, pedicures, enjoyed delicious food and ooh’d over the cute little kids running around the hotel.
Last night I got home and my friend Danielle pretty much demanded my presence for Karaoke at The 1029 Club in Minneapolis. There may have been some Gaga karaoke. Maybe not. I’ll leave that up to you to decide. But one thing is for sure:
When this girl and I are together, it is non-stop laughs. And that makes me happy.
I hope everyone had a nice relaxing and fun weekend!
Also, don’t forget to enter my giveaway to win some awesome treats from popchips. I heard their giveaways are pretty insane so you don’t want to miss it!