I’m pretty sure at this point my mouth should be wired shut. You might be laughing. I am not. Tonight, I laid in bed with a box of cookies. A BOX OF COOKIES. What the #$^#& is wrong with me? I’m struggling a lot with my inability to say no. “Want some chocolate?” I used to be able to pass it up with ease. I remember I used to unwrap chocolate, stick it in my mouth and then quickly spit it back out. So I’ve hit what most people might refer to as rock-effing-bottom. I don’t really want to talk about how that happened. It just did. I find myself beating myself up but not making the necessary changes.
So, I am at square one. I am rejoining Weight Watchers and life will move on. I will track my food, I will weigh in once a week and I’ll lose weight. It happened to me before and it can happen again.
Life will be back to meal planning and saying no when people ask me to eat out and ditch my planned lunch. I have to do it, my friends. Not for other people, but myself. I spend far too many days having mental breakdowns because I hate the way I look in things.
So, this weekend will start a new life – a life where I start putting myself first.