I have a leaf to turn.


So I have learned over the past couple of weeks that people actually read this here blog. If you tried to read my blog, you couldn’t. For more reasons than one. Well, actually, only one. I adjusted the privacy settings while I was going through some pretty difficult times.

It’s funny (well, actually, it’s not funny) – I had finally gotten to this point where I was over Adam, moving on. Dating a decent guy and boom. One of my best friends in the whole world died unexpectedly. Talk about turning your life upside down. I was shocked, confused, mad, sad – the whole gambit. And the thing of it is, every time I talked to her, she mentioned this blog and how proud she was of me for making changes and being healthy. So there was a large part of me that just wanted nothing to do with this blog. But, she’d hate knowing I did that.

So here I am. Trying, yet AGAIN to get my life on track. It’s been a very hard month of trying to keep myself as busy as possible and that lead to eating as terrible as I possibly could, honestly. But I guess this my leaf. At least, I’m trying to make it my leaf.

I went to the gym tonight and it felt good. I cried after my workout. I don’t know. The problem with big moments in life when they are tied to you emotionally is that you don’t know what is going to break you. So I can never be too sure when something will remind me of Scheri.

Tonight, I sleep and again at 5am, I work out and it’s going to feel amazing.

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7 thoughts on “I have a leaf to turn.

  1. Welcome back Cindy. I know you’ve been going through hell these last few weeks and I hope you can heal and figure out the way forward. I think you are pretty awesome. 🙂

  2. I was so happy when I saw your post in Google Reader. Welcome back to the game and always remember, I’m only a BBM away if you need a random laugh.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss… my best friend who is ‘like’ a sister to me (fights, bratty comments and all) was diagnosed with cancer last year…. she’s ok now, but i worry about her, and i can not image how loosing a friend unexpectidly must be. I am glad you are back – I am another freq reader and on my journey to awesome shape for my 30th bday 😉
    keep it up, we’re all here for ya!!

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