I am in control.

 I am absolutely going to probably make some folks mad this morning. But I don’t really care, because generally I make people angry anyway. (HELLO, I work in HR.) So I’ve lost 5 lbs since my last blog post. Yippy oh, yippy yay. That’s not what this is about.

I have recently noticed the influx of people giving up and going the way of diets. And I don’t mean diets in the way of watching what you are eating and not treating your stomach like a garbage can. i mean diets in that you let someone else dictate what you eat, when you eat, how much you eat. And I find it ridiculous. Sure I am counting calories right now and being more conscience about what I am putting in my body (minus the bag of dill pickle potato chips I ate for dinner last night. But hey – I still did not go above the number of calories I should eat in a day, so hey!)

My friend Jen wrote about this exact thing the other day, which is most likely why I can’t stop thinking about it. But let’s break it down and compare to other moments in life:

1.) Jr. High/High School: I allowed what was “cool” dictate what I wore, how I talked and what I participated in. I barely allowed myself to be my own true self. Then again, I did go to some heinous catholic schools where I was mocked viciously. Another post for another day, however.

2.) College: I don’t even know what to say about this one. So I’m just going to skip it. It was fun, but it wasn’t pretty.

3.) Life in my mid-twenties: OKAY PEOPLE. This is what I call a TRAIN WRECK. From heartbreaks on various levels to being challenged personally, this is where I figured it all out. I would never do anything in which I give control over my own life to someone else. It is my life to live and I’m going to live it as I see fit. End of story.

Participating in some “fad diet” relinquishes control over my own life. Although I am counting calories as I said before, I still get to choose what it is I eat. It’s a lifestyle change as my pal Jen has said before. And I AM IN CONTROL. Not any stupid company dictating my life during the time of whatever said diet.

It’s almost been a year.

It’s been nearly a year since I’ve written in this blog. It’s not to say that I haven’t tried. I realized that there were things I needed to let go for a while (this blog) while I focused on other things going on in my life. To say that the past year was difficult is probably not doing it justice. In the last year I have:

  • Attempted to deal with the passing of my best friend
  • Dealt with heartbreak – it had been some time since I allowed myself close enough to someone to get my heart broken
  • Did a lot of up and downs from a career standpoint

And actually, all those things made me crazy in one way or another. Crazy in the sense that I learned you cannot control your emotions. We’re all going to feel what we’re going to feel and that’s that. You never “get over” the death of a loved one – it’s just a matter of learning to live with the fact that they are gone. I unfortunately feel things a little harder than the average person. I spent a LOT of days in tears in my cube at work, in my car, in the shower, in my bedroom, at the mall – the list goes on.

So what was I doing over the last year then? I was learning who my friends are and how lucky I am. So, I’m going to spam you with photos of my last year. 2011 was filled with so many great people – and not every person or moment was captured via photograph – but this is a start:

 

Spending time with Scheri's family in Louisiana in January

With Jason, in Louisiana

Participated in the NoH8 campaign photoshoot in Feb.

I jumped into a frozen lake in Feb. for a good cause! The Polar Plunge, 2011.

I went for Fort Meyers/Key West in March with two of my best friends.

My dearest friend Jillian and I took Chicago by storm in April.

I, of course spent some time going to hockey games with friends.

Celebrating a Wild win, maybe? 🙂

And onto May - going to Twins games!

Fortunate enough to spend time at Rock the Garden in June.

Obviously I am sad that we lost Cuddy.

My amazing friend Ry and I at the Bruno Mars concert in June.

I turned 3! Or 21... +7.

Days in the sun look like this.

Roommate bonding time at the race track in August!

Time with my friend Jen at my housewarming fiesta in August.

My friend Andrea and I at our pal Dan's concert in August.

What is summer celebrations without the State Fair?

I love beer tours with friends in September.

My friends Jason and Ryan. These two have shown me such great friendship. They've also shown me what it means to love someone else.

Celebrating Rachel's birthday..... on a boat.... in October.

Celebrating college friendships at the wedding of friends Ann and Marcus.

There is nothing like roomie love.

What is December without a Christmas Tree headband?One of my favorite things about this year is reuniting with great college friends.

Like I said before, this is just a smattering of my year. It was difficult, but I pulled through. I’m ready to stay focused in 2012. I hope.